“With your family, you have to filter what you say – you worry about them as well, but with an independent person you don’t worry at all and are free to express yourself as you want.”
A mother-of-two has praised the ‘wonderful’ support given to her by South Bucks Hospice after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Tosca Marchant, 41, had just begun a course of chemotherapy when she was referred for counselling at the hospice, based at Butterfly House in High Wycombe.
Initially, she didn’t think she was in need of the therapy - but says it made a massive difference to her life.
South African-born Tosca, a freelance executive assistant from Great Kingshill, has lived in the UK for around 20 years. She is an only child, and both her parents have passed away.
“The counselling was fantastic. I was referred to the hospice by the lovely nurses at Wycombe Hospital mainly because I don’t have any close family nearby apart from my husband and sons,” she said.
“I really didn’t think I needed it, but when I started it, I realised there was a lot to unpack. I was very emotional. I have always been a tough person and was putting on a brave face for my family. I wanted to be strong for my children, but realised I needed to process things, and it helped me so much because I realised I had to come to terms with what was happening to me.”
She says the value of counselling is enormous, adding: “People don’t realise a trauma brings up old trauma and suddenly all of these things came out which I didn’t expect. The counsellor was wonderful. Having that space to put myself first helped me to take stock of things and then be a better mother and be a better wife.
“I realised there were times when I just needed to talk – and then go back to my normal busy life. Often, people just try to carry on as normal but then they don’t process it properly and it can come back to haunt them.
“With your family, you have to filter what you say – you worry about them as well, but with an independent person you don’t worry at all and are free to express yourself as you want.”
Tosca was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of 2024. She underwent a lumpectomy which led to doctors finding the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. Radiotherapy and chemotherapy treatment followed before she was introduced to the team at Butterfly House.
As well as counselling, she was given scar therapy, massages and acupuncture at the hospice – all of which proved invaluable.
“The scar therapy after my lumpectomy surgery was wonderful and really helpful because I was dealing with a lot of pain and stiffness,” she said. “The massages really helped me relax because I was dealing with a lot of stress.”
But the treatment perhaps that surprised her the most was the acupuncture.
Tosca admitted she hadn’t really seen the value of this beforehand and was ‘amazed’ at how successful it was for her.
“I was dealing with so many aches and pains from the treatment and medication. My whole system was up and down. I had severe back pain and couldn’t sleep. I honestly did not believe acupuncture could help me, but I thought I could give it a go and was astounded by how much it did help. It completely took away the back pain after a couple of sessions.”
Tosca is in recovery now and is looking to the future, although she will be on medication for a few years and is having further surgery later this year.
She is full of praise for South Bucks Hospice, saying: “Everybody I have come across there has been so wonderful. I can’t fault it at all. They have thought of everything. I don’t ever feel pressure and I don’t ever feel forgotten.”
Before last year, she only knew of the hospice because of its charity shops and wasn’t really aware of the range of services it offered.
“I never realised then what they do - but now I do understand fully what they offer and it’s incredible,” she said.
